Arab Dialogue

Well today's post was going to be me bitching about how the Amazon Kindle has been released internationally in over 100 countries but it has not been released in a single Arab country; it gives me a slight satisfaction though that it also has not been released in Israel so it's not the fact that Arabs don't read (and as the saying goes if they read they don't understand!!)

Instead I shall write about a skill that precedes reading: speaking... Don't be confused; this post shall not be about the utter failures of Arab diplomacy in the world... For more on such depressive topics read al-akhbar or al jazeera... They constantly put Arabs down, they'd want to kill themselves... (which they do using C4 strapped belts!)

Now personally I am a temperamental person (especially with the likes of Sabagh and family...) but with other people I tend to be able to control myself... However, every now and then I kinda lose it and have a heated argument... Par example, yesterday I was on the phone with a friend, and he made me lose my temper... Now I may have been a little bit on the wrong side, but usually when people are unreasonable, I attempt to reason with them and show them that they are being preposterous... Yesterday however instead of that happening my friend started escalating the fight...

And that is the case usually... I don't care if the Lebanese pretend we are not Arabs, because this is one of the traits that prove that we are, to the blood... When two Lebanese start talking and a difference of opinion rises, seldom are the cases where the two parties don't start screaming at each other, insulting each other, and start attacking on a personal level rather than the subject being discussed. On a more macro scale, Arabs do that too... All you need to do is watch five minutes of al-jazeera to see two Arabs personally insulting each other, attacking their heritages and their country of origin, and accusing the other party of infidelity!! In Lebanon of course we do that too.

This makes me wonder, if we were such fierce talkers, why the hell haven't we got our Arab rights back from the Israelis and why is it that with them we turn to sheep?

Cant leev wiz zem...

This post is dedicated to my fresh fan Sish!! It's also inspired by him...

Now we all know that the Lebanese mammssoo7 ill 2ard fiyyon... We've been occupied and ruled by the Pharaohs, the Romans, the Ottomans... I'm sure at one point, the Indians who have never waged a war in their 10,000 years of existence occupied us somehow!! :p

Well of our more (notice not most) contemporary occupiers, were the colonizers, ze Fghench... Now I'm not sure what the socio-cultural scene was before the blue-eyed rulers was, but I would say that it was in those days that the Lebanese started adopting the French language as a second language...

Since then, and until now, a wide portion of the Lebanese speak French as a second language... Now personally, I was raised in the Gulf, so my knowledge of the language of love is restricted to lyrics from pop songs sung by slutty-dressed Christina Aguilera, Pink, Lil Kim and Mya... But it's not the language that I have a problem with... It's the Frenchies themselves... Now, if you're reading this I don't mean by Frenchies people who speak French; I mean the uber-Frenchies that are incapable of the "th" syllable and replace it wiz "z." I am talking about a people who wouldn't be caught dead wearing a Gap jacket and instead will be wearing a Burbbery trench coat...

What about those people?! Well part of what I like about Lebanon is its diversity and the fact that you can see a bit of everything which is cool, but the Frenchies of Lebanon tend to stick together and form tight circles. Anyone belonging outside of that circle is deemed an insect that should be judged and condemned of the rest of eternity...

I AM kidding... Frenchies (most of them, maybe not my ex though (proof: the ex never read my blog!)) are usually nice people, and they're definitely always stylish and into their looks... Now I'm not saying they're shallow or are air-head barbies but they do raise the bar when it comes to dressing up... (And also they do fill the pockets of AiZone's owners!)...

Okay, so truthfully I had nothing to write and the above-mentioned Sish requested a post about Frenchies so there goes...

Climate Change and Lebanon

So today is Blog Action Day... Shou ya3ni?!!? It means that once a year the bloggers around the world (7,000 of them this year) discuss a specific topic, and this year they could not have picked a better topic than Climate Change...

So my post today is gonna be the opposite of what Mustapha reasoned... His logic was that a small country such as Lebanon can contribute hugely to global research... Mine is going to be how such a tiny country with a sh**ty-ass economy and virtually no industrialization cause so much pollution...

For starters, half our population smokes and smoking contributes to 20% of the world's pollution... But then again with our political class, I would understand why people smoke; it's either that or overdosing on pain killers!!! However, and this is something not too many people are familiar with: Lebanon has a deal signed with the Yanks whereby we have to purchase a certain amount of cigarette boxes per year and hence we can't raise taxes on ciggies... Reason? Cause our farmers ship tobacco to the States... So there's a case of dependency, and of course instead of trying to shift our farmers from planting tobacco to planting other crops (say sunflower whose price has exponentially increased because it could be used as a bio-fuel) we stick no planning and depending on foreign forces.

And speaking of poor planning, it is that, in the transportation sector in Lebanon, coupled by a chronic case of a snob factor, that makes the Lebanese own TWO million cars... For those that do not know, Lebanon has a population of just about four million (maybe even less). Our geography books taught us that half of the population are below the age of 18, which means we have two million cars for two million people eligible to drive?? HELLOOOOOO?! Am I the only person who sees something SINFULLY wrong with this?!?! Crazy... Concepts like car pooling and using public transportation (at least for close distances) are inexistent in this country... Add to that the fact that our population spends one third of its life asleep, one third at clubs and restaurants and one third in front of the mirror, so the idea of WALKING somewhere is impossible... Walk and ruin my hair!? Good God, you blasphemer... (applies to both the boys and the girls of course)... Solution? METRO and heavy imposed taxes on car fuel sold in major cities... (Hmmm I think I'll write a specific post about the Beirut metro...)

There are so many things wrong with this country environmentally... All our sewage is dumped into the beautiful Mediterranean untreated... When I first moved to Lebanon, I remember the EU had donated around $250,000,000 to fund five treatment plants along the Med for the sewage... Lord knows in whose pockets this money has landed... Our piss and shit still goes down the Med the way it comes out of our penises, vaginas, and asses...

There's also the problem of culture... People do not have the awareness about the impact of switching a light off if they are not using it... You'd think they would considering the fact that at any point in time, there is a part of Lebanon without electricity because of our rationing programs... You'd think that when people have electricity they would think about their brethren Lebanese and switch off that light in the room where no one is sitting... I go nuts when I walk pass by the kitchen in our office and find the light on and no one is sitting their... WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT??? That is a crime by my standards...

Complaints complaints complaints, I hear you say... Well I'm doing my part... I always lecture my people about these issues and try to do my part in energy conservation, and I hope this post has touched something in you to do the same...

Happy blog action day!

Lumosity

Devoted readers of this blog, know that I am a gymaholic... That is true (ignoring the fact that I haven't been to gym for the past two months because of business travels and Ramadan...)

Today's post, shall stick to the theme of exercise, but will target a set of tissue that isn't highly active in the gym (and in my case not highly active ever) a.k.a the BRAIN...

So we all have $100 deducted from our accounts on monthly basis for us to best train our muscles and increase our fitness and strength... But how do we exercise the different parts of our brains?! Enter Lumosity. It's a site that targets the four functions of the brain being: processing, memory, cognitive and attention... The way you train your brain and hopefully improve it, is through playing a series of fun yet challenging games that take into consideration how retarded smart you are. The better you get, the harder the games get. Furthermore, there's the added functionality of comparing your scores to thousands of other subscribers rendering the whole process even more challenging... (for sick competitive people like me)... And all of this, at a price 1/10th of what the gym costs!!

And no, I don't get any free months for posting this; it's just that the site is awesome and I thought I'd share. Plus, you guys can really feel a difference from subscribing to it! And if I'm not mistaken there's a week-free trial... So go ahead..

The Price we Pay...

Well that's my status on Facebook today.

To finish it, I meant: The price we p

ay to look good... Cause right now I'm in PAIN... Well the pain has subsided from yesterday's excruciating pain that I was suffering all night long.. If you know me, you know that I have a high pain tolerance; actually I have enough tolerance I had some drilling once done on one of my molars without having an anesthetic cause I had lunch plans... I also hate taking medications, but last night I took four pills of pain killers...

Why, you ask, would someone inflict such pain upon him/herself??! Well to have a perfect smile!! Granted, I have small teeth hidden by big lips, s

o my teeth are usually never visible, but still I felt compelled to undergo the bleaching procedure!!

Basically, the procedure is to spread some gel that contains peroxide on the teeth and using some kind of light, it'll break up the O2 atoms to bleach the teeth... BY FAR, this had to be the most painful thing I have EVER endured in my entire life... Yesterday, my teeth kept getting flashes of pain.. Today, I'm suffering from mouth sores all over in my mouth and the teeth still hurt... Every now and then, one of my teeth flash with this horrendous pain... GOOD GOD.. Why didn't anyone tell me BEFORE I underwent this, that it was gonna feel so bad... Oh, and I can't drink coffee or coke, so you could guess what kind of mood I'm in...

Worth it?! Probably, but right now, I'm in too much pain to care... Below is a picture of me while I was undergoing the procedure...

The One

Disclaimer: Today’s post shall be a romantic mushy-mushy one.

Here’s a question: do you believe in the one? As in, in this vast planet of 6+ billion people, is there that one person who is perfectly designed to be your second half?

Personally, I believe(d) in a more diluted version: it’s basically a compatibility package. For the person to be a candidate of my other half, they must be of so height, bla colors, of so & so mentality… And people that fit into that profile are dating material and after that you see if you could go steady with them or not.

Mind you, my ex, and the love of my life was like NOTHING like I could ever imagine to date. But we did and fell in love… Of course this is Lebanon and we’ve got 1,001 reasons why people could be madly in love and not be able to be together, ranging from different religions, to different social classes, to parents don’t approve… (We had all those plus a couple more!)

ANYWAYS, the point is, I believe that any two people who are in love can make things work. I used to use the argument that some people are not in love but they stay together for their children, or cause they fear loneliness, or cause divorce may still be a taboo… So when two people are madly in love, if they’ve got the courage and the will power to make things work, it could be them against the world. And in all cases, I’m pretty sure it’ll never get that severe; you’ll always have at least SOME friends who will accept you the way you are and who will support you no matter what…

But here’s the thing, there needs to be a will from both parties.

I’m sure a lot of you will disagree and say something of the sorts that “yeah sometimes people are in love, but love is not enough.” Um, ok. If love is not enough, what is the principle ingredient that needs to exist in a relationship? What more do you need to want to be with someone for a very long time??

I guess I just fall under the category of romantic… And I think I tend to be… I’m usually very relationship phobic but when I fall, I fall hard… Oh well, till the next one…

Saving

So I'm big right now on this thing called saving... I've been working (in like real jobs that pay more than the price of a sandwich) for almost four years now. Total savings gathered: um, what's a polite word for crap-shit?!! Total debts: $1,000 on my credit card (after mom bailed me and paid for the other $2,000 I had on top of that) and something like $20,000 in a car loan.

Yeah, this is someone who went to the finest university in the Middle East and studied finance... And no I wasn't high all the time in college... I might as well have been though, right?!

But see in all due fairness, when I got my first pay check, I went to Audi Bank to open a current account and also a savings account... What the delightful customer service agent told me though was: Sorry sir, but you can't open a savings account unless you have LL2,000,000.00 or US$2,000.00. Now see, here's the dilemma: had I managed to EVER save that kind of money in my life, I would not NEED to resort to opening a savings bank account... The problem is I'm a 21 century consumerist... I need a new phone every six months, a new ipod every couple of models, etc... in addition to me being a Lebanese and need to go out every day...

But effective THIS month, things shall change. I definitely will start putting money aside, either in a savings account with another bank, or a joint account with someone, after which I shall start investing my money in low risk securities... Yes I believe now is the time, cause all stocks are undervalued and will definitely be on the rise in the next couple of years, and there shall reside my extra on the side profit. Cause I realized, there is no way a person could live off their salary and make all these plans of buying a house and raising children (and pay for the fucking wedding dress) without having some kind of money being generated on the side. And seeing that my house is in a built up area, my growing opium poppies plans won't work, so I gotta do something else.

Wish me luck, cause WE KNOW that this'll be hard!! May the force be with my account...